Feeling Sad to Leave Doesn't Mean You Shouldn't Go
A roleplay with ☁Lady Raincloud☁
As the morning sun rose above the early hunting patrol as they prepared to leave camp, Duckeyes cast a loving gaze back towards the kits and elders sunning themselves by the lake, enjoying the cool wind that ruffled her fur as it passed over the pond. A hearty chuckle sounded in her ear as her mate, Minnowstep, passed by her.
"Are you going to stare at the elders all day or catch some prey for them to eat? If you don't, you know Redstone will ask for Minkstar to kick you out of the clan again." Flicking his tail against her flank, the tom padded off, and after another brief glance back, the calico she-cat followed after him.
"So, mister, 'I'm the leader's brother so I know best,' where are we hunting today?"
"I figure we might check the foot of the sharp-rock mountains for rabbits," he smirked, "unless you would rather have duck."
With a mrow of amusement, Duckeyes padded in front of him, "Let's go get those rabbits, you stupid furball." And with the last word she was gone, already streaking away, leaving her mate to do nothing but laugh and follow.
---
"So much for rabbits, all I've seen are falling leaves!"
"If I were a rabbit and heard you tromping around like that, I would have hidden too-" Minnowstep trailed off as he saw his mate starting with a puzzled expression up towards the mountain, "Is something wrong?"
"No, I just thought I scented... Someone I knew, is all." Opening her mouth again to let the scent flood in, she wrinkled her nose and then shook her head, "No, I must be imagining it."
Cinderpaw trekked his way down the mountain slope, gasping for air as he did so. He had just missed slipping down the mountainside, and the adrenaline from nearly tumbling to an uncertain fate was still causing him to shake slightly. He couldn't wait until this journey was over!
With a sigh, he leaped to the next boulder stopping there for a quick break to collect his nerves. He let his eyes fall downwards on the forest below; well, it was closer than below now. He could smell the scent of pines and other trees, mingling with the scents of prey too. His mouth watered as he thought he caught the scent of rabbit on the wind, and he hastened to stand up.
"No time to wait around here..." He mused with a slight huff. He had to get back to his party waiting for him up the mountain. He only saw his clanmates who were tracking him so many times, he almost forgot he was alone. He needed to bring them back some prey and a report of his daily findings.
With a sigh, Duckeyes turned back to her mate and shook her head "I'm sorry, I've just been just been thinking about, well, it's nothing." As she trailed off, Minnowstep could see in her eyes a sadness that overcame the she-cat all too often.
"Your... family?" He tried, the last word getting caught in his throat as he thought of his mate having not only another cat whom she had loved before him but also a kit.
Giving him a slight not, Duckeyes continued, "I just wish I knew if he were safe." Turning her back to the mountain, she slowly began back towards camp, tail held low and eyes betraying the sadness she tried so hard to hide, "How could I believe that he might ever come looking for me again after I had left him?"
Sensing that she no longer wished to speak on the subject, Minnowstep turned to follow her, but as he did he caught right of the slight movement of another cat winding its way down the slope of the mountain. Letting out a gasp of surprise, he stared harder at the weaving figure, noting that it was not nearly large enough to be fully grown yet. Could his mate have been right? Would this young cat have crossed into potentially hostile territory to find his mother?
Cinderpaw's thoughts were still focused on the prey he'd scented, he did not scent the cats nearby. He hadn't eaten in hours! His stomach rumbled at the thought and he let out a huff of relief when his paws met grass, happy he was out of the mountains and the walking would now be easier.
Now was when he noticed it. He felt the fur on his spine rise as he did. It was the scent of the PondClan cats, drifting around him like he's just entered a fog. Unlike his mother, he did not recognize the signal scent of a cat he knew, but the collective smell of many cats. He instinctively lowered himself, taking a look at the landscape. How could he have been so stupid? He should have noticed it earlier!
He took in the forest. It looked peaceful enough. A few trees and rocks, however, hid the forms of his mother and her mate. So, he cautiously went on. Maybe if he was quick, he could just grab some food and leave to rejoin his party.
Before he could decide whether or not to inform Duckeyes of his decision, she turned, eyes glittering and tail held high, "I knew I had scented him!"
Dashing off towards the mountain, the she-cat gave hardly a glance back at her mate before pinning the younger cat down with a joyful purr.
"You came to find me! Minnowstep said you wouldn't but you have! Have you come to join the clan?" Her tail waved happily as she gave her kit a quick rasp of her tongue, "You've come home, my kit."
A distinctly maternal look on her face, Duckeyes allowed for the sight of her kit come home to sink into her memories, solidifying itself there.
Cinderpaw let out a puff of air and a small choking sound as he was suddenly bowled over! He didn't know what to do as Duckeyes began grooming his head fur, and he did his best, in his surprise to push her away. "H-hey! You've got the wrong cat lady, I-" He began quickly, slipping away from her. However as his eyes turned upwards to look at her, they widened in shock. It wasn't the wrong cat she'd found. The voice simply hadn't clicked right away.
"... Mother?"
His voice was shocked as it registered.
Nuzzling into her son's fur, Duckeyes continued to purr, grooming him before finally moving off of the younger cat.
"Of course it's me... Isn't... Aren't I the reason you're here?" A wave of concern flashed across her face as she slowly sat on her haunches facing the cat whom she hadn't seen in many moons.
"You've gotten so big..." Before she could continue what she was saying, she felt another pelt brush against her's as Minnowstep came to stand beside her.
"So this is him," he began cautiously, "your... Your kit?"
With a bow of his head towards the younger cat he then addressed Cinderpaw, "It's a pleasure to meet you... I've heard much of you and the other members of your family."
Cinderpaw looked at the two, too flustered to reply to his mother first injury right away. He glanced at both, taking note of how Minnowstep stood so close to his mother, and giving Minnowstep a suspicious, squinty look. "I... I wasn't exactly coming to see you, but I thought... maybe." He admitted, finally snapping out of his thoughts, while still glaring at Minnowstep. He shook his head slightly. He shouldn't read too much into it. "I'm on an assignment with my clan... uh, but I chose this route. I remember you..." He paused, looking back at Minnowstep. Not knowing how to continue his previous vein he cleared his throat and said, with a hint of trepidation. "Hello."
"You didn't seem all too, well, happy to see me," Duckeyes confessed, eyes turned to the ground as she spoke, "but nonetheless, how are you? How is Blackbird?" At the name, she threw a brief glance over her shoulder towards Minnowstep.
With a knowing glance towards the she-cat, Minnowstep allowed himself to take a step back and attempt to give the other two cats a moment alone. Of course, she would want to know how her former mate was doing, however, that did not stop the question from biting into his pride.
I'm shocked is all." Cinderpaw, swallowing hard and trying to at least look more friendly. He was genuinely happy to see her- really- but it was so weird after all this time.
"He was well last I saw him..." He continued a frown on his face. He fixed his eyes on Minnowstep again, as if trying to read the tom. Lifting his nose slightly in an almost haughty air, he added with some hesitation. "... Dad met someone. Someone else... that cat who used to live with the old human woman, the calico?"
There was slight bitterness in his voice as he said this. Still, he felt she should know. She asked after all, right?
Understanding the discomfort that her kit must be feeling, Duckeyes cast a sympathetic look towards him, of course, this couldn't be any easier for him than it was for her. Lowering her tail, she drank in his response, of course Blackbird had found a new mate, why shouldn't he have? She, after all, had done the same. Feeling the need to clear the air with her kit, she motioned with her tail for Minnowstep to come back to her side.
"Cinderpaw, I would like for you to meet my mate, Minnowstep," giving a nervous glance between the two toms, she continued, "I think it's best that your father and I have both... Moved on."
"I hope you see that I mean neither you or your father any ill will in this," the elder cat mewed, "I truly do love your mother."
Cinderpaw blinked. He wasn't sure what he had suspected when he first saw Minnowstep. He cast the tom another glance and gave him a rather fixed and searching look in the eyes.
Finally, he nodded. He didn't accept him and didn't like it, and the twitch of his tail betrayed that. Still, he wasn't about to cause a scene. He replied curtly. "Right... I guess if you both have."
Anything else would have to wait until he was alone with his mother. Not that he would get the chance; he needed to leave soon. Yet he really did want to talk, and silently willed Minnowstep to go away.
"... Are you both in a clan?" He asked stiffly, trying to change the subject.
"Yes," Duckeyes stepped between the two, "PondClan. Would you, perhaps, like to visit the camp. I- I know that this is a bit against tradition, however, we are a clan of wanderers. I'm sure that, if you wanted, you could stay. I... I would love to have you." She stood with her tail lowered still, hope distinct on her face.
Watching the interaction between the two, Minnowstep slowly stepped away and walked off towards the camp, hoping to give Minkstar a warning of a possible visit from his mate's kit.
Cinderpaw watched as Minnowstep turned to leave, then fixed his eyes on his mother. He shifted his weight a bit and had a thoughtful expression on his face. He finally answered with. "Would your leader be alright with it?"
Twitching her tail happily, Duckeyes responded quickly to her son's inquiry, "Of course she would. I came to her in the same way, and well, like I said, if you wished to stay... the clan always has room."
Turning towards camp, the she-cat motioned with her tail for the apprentice to follow her, "And, by the way, I really think if you gave Minnowstep a chance you would grow quite fond of him. He, well, honestly, he reminds me of Blackbird..."
As she trailed off, Duckeyes shook her head and began the trek to take her son home with her.
Cinderpaw opened his mouth to speak as his mother invited him to join the clan, but stopped as she kept going. He realized he hadn't told her yet what he's been doing with his time. He had briefly mentioned he was on a mission for his clan, but he figured he'd wait and see his mother's home before telling her more.
Despite trying to remain calm, he couldn't help but say in a snappish mutter. "Then why didn't you stay with Blackbird?" It wasn't a question he intended to be answered and he said it under his breath in the hopes she wouldn't notice, and afterward, he hurried his pace to catch up with her.
Closing her eyes for a moment, Duckeyes continued to walk, head hung low and tail following in suit.
"Blackbird was.... is, a wonderful cat. But I've always wanted to travel. To be able to actually find my place. He, well, he was always more suited for a life of organization. Of certainties."
Shaking her head as if to clear the thoughts away, Duckeyes picked her tail up slightly, not wanting to let her kit know just how deeply the question had pierced her. Of course, Blackbird would always be her first... He was, of course, the cat whom she had thought would be her mate through it all. But none of that mattered now. Cinderpaw was here. She was taking him home with her.
Cinderpaw frowned, listening to her in silence as she talked, and glancing down at his paws, focusing on anything but her. He felt a stab of shame that he'd even made a complaint- he understood her, in a way. He hadn't wanted to stay with Blackbird either in the human place. Still, if she, Ducky, hadn't had left... well, perhaps things would have been different.
He gave a slight nod as he took in her words, but still averted his gaze. "... I'm sorry." He added after a pause, daring to cast a glance at her. "I guess I understand." He muttered.
He didn't sound or look totally convinced, and he knew it, so he again tried to avert his gaze. He needed to change the subject! He might not see her again for a while, or even for the rest of his life for all he knew! He couldn't waste these moments feeling bitter.
"... So, how'd you end up here?" He asked, clearing his throat.
Happy to have a change of subject, the she-cat slowed so that she and the apprentice were walking side by side.
"After I left your father and you I just... Walked. It almost felt like I was pulled here. Like this is where I was meant to be. Minnowstep actually found me about where you came from. He... Well, he explained that the clan could always use more warriors and this is somewhere I finally felt I could settle."
Kneading the ground nervously as she paused for a moment, Duckeyes turned to her son, "I didn't want to leave you. I hope you know that. I asked Blackbird to try and explain it but... I suppose there's no excuse. But you're here now! You've found me," nuzzling slightly into the smaller cat, she continued, "I am so proud."
Cinderpaw mustered a smile as his mother nuzzled him, and for a moment, he felt he could relax. It could be just like it was before. He let himself lean on her slightly, his nose touching the fur of her shoulder. As he closed his eyes her scent and fur so close reminded him of when he was a kitten. Yes, this seemed right...
Yet reality still came back to him, and he pulled away, the moment gone. He knew he wasn't going to leave his new clan to join hers- yet the way she was talking and acting almost seemed like she was sure he was. He didn't know how to address it. He needed to think!
Instead of talking about it now, he smiled at her and quickened his pace, taking a good look at the surroundings. The forest was very pretty, with the mountains in the distance. He understood why she liked it here. "Is your camp close?" He asked, looking back at her.
Unaware of the thoughts racing through the younger cat's mind, Duckeyes nodded excitedly, "Just beyond these bushes," as she spoke, the she-cat nudged her way into the camp. Taking in the view which she had left earlier, Duckeyes allowed for the water of the pond to fall in sync with her breathing before practically dashing to the center of camp, waving Cinderpaw to follow.
Seeing Minnowstep, she smiled, "I've brought him home. Now we can be a proper family."
Cinderpaw gave Minnowstep a sheepish smile as he followed. He definitely did not look as eager as she did, and cast a wary glance at whoever else may be around. Scents of unfamiliar cats made his fur rise slightly, and he was certain he felt eyes on him alright.
"... About that." He muttered cautiously. He had to tell her. She couldn't go on thinking he was staying. It'd be worse if he broke it to her later, right?
Stopping at the cautious tone in Cinderpaw's voice, Duckeyes turned to her son, her tail drooping, " Did I... Have I misspoke? Is it because of Minnowstep? He really is a good cat, not that Blackbird wasn't I just....." Trailing off with a sheepish look in her eyes, Duckeyes lifted her head to make eye contact with her dear kit, "You don't want to stay, do you?"
Cinderpaw let out a long breath and looked at his mother. He wasn't sure what to say. This whole ordeal was hard for him to talk through, and once more he found himself hoping Minnowstep would go away. Yet Minnowstep was there, and it would be rude to just tell him to go. It was obvious his mother considered him part of their family. Even if he isn't. Cinderpaw thought.
He didn't say this, however, simply. "... You moved on..."
Figuring this wasn't enough he hurried to say, his ear flicking "When you left, things weren't the same. I didn't feel I belonged their either, in the city. So I left with Fire... I have my own home now."
That was about it- he just hoped she'd take it well. Or at least, better than he was taking the news of how moved on both his parents were.
With a small nod, Duckeyes looked at her son, noting how much he had grown. How strong he had become. She gave him a small smile before turning to her mate, "Will you tell Minkstar I'll be out of camp for a moment. I need to see Cinderpaw back to his clan." Turning to her son, she flicked her tail and started out of the camp, "I'm sorry," she muttered.
Cinderpaw followed, a bit confused by how well she took it. It was obvious she did want him to stay- yet she was so willing to let him go back.
He needed to do the same for her.
"I should be sorry." He replied. "I... in some ways I wish I could stay. I've missed you so long. In fact, I've missed you and the way things were so much... I might have lost sight of what had or could've been gained."
He shrugged at this and still walked on. The forest was peaceful, and the nearby pond sounded pleasant.
"You are happy here... right?" He finally asked, stopping and look at her. It was weird, he recalled her being so much taller. Now they stood at the same height. If anything, in a few more moons he'd be taller than she was. Time had passed so quickly... he had imagined his meeting being so much different.
"You have no reason at all to apologize. No queen could ask for a better kit. You are loyal to your clan, and that is what can make or break a cat. I am so proud to call you my son...." Giving him a sad smile, she continued, "I knew that you wouldn't be able to stay, but, one can dream."
With a pause, she then raised her tail proudly, "And to be frank, I am happy here. I have a family in these cats, but I need for you to know that they will never replace you. " Giving her son a smile, she began walking again, her pace slow, but methodical, "And I'm going to assume you are also happy, seeing as to how eager you are to get back."
Cinderpaw smiled. It was perhaps the most genuine smile he had given all day, although sadness was still in his eyes. Things would never be as they were, but perhaps the new wasn't so bad. He had to give it a chance, and he felt he'd understand better with time. Maybe even make amends with Blackbird, too.
"Yes, I like it in my clan." He said brightly, his eyes turning on ahead. He could see those mountains he had wanted to travel since he was a kit, as they were the ones he had seen his mother vanish towards. Now he felt a surge of excitement; at home, cats were waiting to greet him. Waiting to give him a warrior name.
"... You know, I lied a bit earlier." He added sheepishly. "When I said I wasn't looking to find you... I was, in a way, even if I wouldn't admit it. And I'm glad I did. I can't deny it hurt me when you left, and how you both moved on. But I... think everything will be fine. I'm happy for you. And I do really love my new home. Maybe things did turn out for the best after all?"
Giving her son a nuzzle, she smirked before speaking, 'You ought to be going, your clan is going to end up thinking that you were eaten by a giant squirrel. And... I am sorry. I always have loved you, and to be fair, I'm overjoyed you came to see me," pausing to nuzzle her kit and nudge him gently the way he had come, Duckeyes attempted to hide the sorrow on her face. "I just... If you ever get another chance, please don't feel strange about dropping by. Our borders are pretty flexible. And Minkstar will understand. That's enough of me rambling though. You have a home to go to."
And before the tom could say anything else to her, she was gone, streaking into the forest, back to her home. Her chosen family.
"Are you going to stare at the elders all day or catch some prey for them to eat? If you don't, you know Redstone will ask for Minkstar to kick you out of the clan again." Flicking his tail against her flank, the tom padded off, and after another brief glance back, the calico she-cat followed after him.
"So, mister, 'I'm the leader's brother so I know best,' where are we hunting today?"
"I figure we might check the foot of the sharp-rock mountains for rabbits," he smirked, "unless you would rather have duck."
With a mrow of amusement, Duckeyes padded in front of him, "Let's go get those rabbits, you stupid furball." And with the last word she was gone, already streaking away, leaving her mate to do nothing but laugh and follow.
---
"So much for rabbits, all I've seen are falling leaves!"
"If I were a rabbit and heard you tromping around like that, I would have hidden too-" Minnowstep trailed off as he saw his mate starting with a puzzled expression up towards the mountain, "Is something wrong?"
"No, I just thought I scented... Someone I knew, is all." Opening her mouth again to let the scent flood in, she wrinkled her nose and then shook her head, "No, I must be imagining it."
Cinderpaw trekked his way down the mountain slope, gasping for air as he did so. He had just missed slipping down the mountainside, and the adrenaline from nearly tumbling to an uncertain fate was still causing him to shake slightly. He couldn't wait until this journey was over!
With a sigh, he leaped to the next boulder stopping there for a quick break to collect his nerves. He let his eyes fall downwards on the forest below; well, it was closer than below now. He could smell the scent of pines and other trees, mingling with the scents of prey too. His mouth watered as he thought he caught the scent of rabbit on the wind, and he hastened to stand up.
"No time to wait around here..." He mused with a slight huff. He had to get back to his party waiting for him up the mountain. He only saw his clanmates who were tracking him so many times, he almost forgot he was alone. He needed to bring them back some prey and a report of his daily findings.
With a sigh, Duckeyes turned back to her mate and shook her head "I'm sorry, I've just been just been thinking about, well, it's nothing." As she trailed off, Minnowstep could see in her eyes a sadness that overcame the she-cat all too often.
"Your... family?" He tried, the last word getting caught in his throat as he thought of his mate having not only another cat whom she had loved before him but also a kit.
Giving him a slight not, Duckeyes continued, "I just wish I knew if he were safe." Turning her back to the mountain, she slowly began back towards camp, tail held low and eyes betraying the sadness she tried so hard to hide, "How could I believe that he might ever come looking for me again after I had left him?"
Sensing that she no longer wished to speak on the subject, Minnowstep turned to follow her, but as he did he caught right of the slight movement of another cat winding its way down the slope of the mountain. Letting out a gasp of surprise, he stared harder at the weaving figure, noting that it was not nearly large enough to be fully grown yet. Could his mate have been right? Would this young cat have crossed into potentially hostile territory to find his mother?
Cinderpaw's thoughts were still focused on the prey he'd scented, he did not scent the cats nearby. He hadn't eaten in hours! His stomach rumbled at the thought and he let out a huff of relief when his paws met grass, happy he was out of the mountains and the walking would now be easier.
Now was when he noticed it. He felt the fur on his spine rise as he did. It was the scent of the PondClan cats, drifting around him like he's just entered a fog. Unlike his mother, he did not recognize the signal scent of a cat he knew, but the collective smell of many cats. He instinctively lowered himself, taking a look at the landscape. How could he have been so stupid? He should have noticed it earlier!
He took in the forest. It looked peaceful enough. A few trees and rocks, however, hid the forms of his mother and her mate. So, he cautiously went on. Maybe if he was quick, he could just grab some food and leave to rejoin his party.
Before he could decide whether or not to inform Duckeyes of his decision, she turned, eyes glittering and tail held high, "I knew I had scented him!"
Dashing off towards the mountain, the she-cat gave hardly a glance back at her mate before pinning the younger cat down with a joyful purr.
"You came to find me! Minnowstep said you wouldn't but you have! Have you come to join the clan?" Her tail waved happily as she gave her kit a quick rasp of her tongue, "You've come home, my kit."
A distinctly maternal look on her face, Duckeyes allowed for the sight of her kit come home to sink into her memories, solidifying itself there.
Cinderpaw let out a puff of air and a small choking sound as he was suddenly bowled over! He didn't know what to do as Duckeyes began grooming his head fur, and he did his best, in his surprise to push her away. "H-hey! You've got the wrong cat lady, I-" He began quickly, slipping away from her. However as his eyes turned upwards to look at her, they widened in shock. It wasn't the wrong cat she'd found. The voice simply hadn't clicked right away.
"... Mother?"
His voice was shocked as it registered.
Nuzzling into her son's fur, Duckeyes continued to purr, grooming him before finally moving off of the younger cat.
"Of course it's me... Isn't... Aren't I the reason you're here?" A wave of concern flashed across her face as she slowly sat on her haunches facing the cat whom she hadn't seen in many moons.
"You've gotten so big..." Before she could continue what she was saying, she felt another pelt brush against her's as Minnowstep came to stand beside her.
"So this is him," he began cautiously, "your... Your kit?"
With a bow of his head towards the younger cat he then addressed Cinderpaw, "It's a pleasure to meet you... I've heard much of you and the other members of your family."
Cinderpaw looked at the two, too flustered to reply to his mother first injury right away. He glanced at both, taking note of how Minnowstep stood so close to his mother, and giving Minnowstep a suspicious, squinty look. "I... I wasn't exactly coming to see you, but I thought... maybe." He admitted, finally snapping out of his thoughts, while still glaring at Minnowstep. He shook his head slightly. He shouldn't read too much into it. "I'm on an assignment with my clan... uh, but I chose this route. I remember you..." He paused, looking back at Minnowstep. Not knowing how to continue his previous vein he cleared his throat and said, with a hint of trepidation. "Hello."
"You didn't seem all too, well, happy to see me," Duckeyes confessed, eyes turned to the ground as she spoke, "but nonetheless, how are you? How is Blackbird?" At the name, she threw a brief glance over her shoulder towards Minnowstep.
With a knowing glance towards the she-cat, Minnowstep allowed himself to take a step back and attempt to give the other two cats a moment alone. Of course, she would want to know how her former mate was doing, however, that did not stop the question from biting into his pride.
I'm shocked is all." Cinderpaw, swallowing hard and trying to at least look more friendly. He was genuinely happy to see her- really- but it was so weird after all this time.
"He was well last I saw him..." He continued a frown on his face. He fixed his eyes on Minnowstep again, as if trying to read the tom. Lifting his nose slightly in an almost haughty air, he added with some hesitation. "... Dad met someone. Someone else... that cat who used to live with the old human woman, the calico?"
There was slight bitterness in his voice as he said this. Still, he felt she should know. She asked after all, right?
Understanding the discomfort that her kit must be feeling, Duckeyes cast a sympathetic look towards him, of course, this couldn't be any easier for him than it was for her. Lowering her tail, she drank in his response, of course Blackbird had found a new mate, why shouldn't he have? She, after all, had done the same. Feeling the need to clear the air with her kit, she motioned with her tail for Minnowstep to come back to her side.
"Cinderpaw, I would like for you to meet my mate, Minnowstep," giving a nervous glance between the two toms, she continued, "I think it's best that your father and I have both... Moved on."
"I hope you see that I mean neither you or your father any ill will in this," the elder cat mewed, "I truly do love your mother."
Cinderpaw blinked. He wasn't sure what he had suspected when he first saw Minnowstep. He cast the tom another glance and gave him a rather fixed and searching look in the eyes.
Finally, he nodded. He didn't accept him and didn't like it, and the twitch of his tail betrayed that. Still, he wasn't about to cause a scene. He replied curtly. "Right... I guess if you both have."
Anything else would have to wait until he was alone with his mother. Not that he would get the chance; he needed to leave soon. Yet he really did want to talk, and silently willed Minnowstep to go away.
"... Are you both in a clan?" He asked stiffly, trying to change the subject.
"Yes," Duckeyes stepped between the two, "PondClan. Would you, perhaps, like to visit the camp. I- I know that this is a bit against tradition, however, we are a clan of wanderers. I'm sure that, if you wanted, you could stay. I... I would love to have you." She stood with her tail lowered still, hope distinct on her face.
Watching the interaction between the two, Minnowstep slowly stepped away and walked off towards the camp, hoping to give Minkstar a warning of a possible visit from his mate's kit.
Cinderpaw watched as Minnowstep turned to leave, then fixed his eyes on his mother. He shifted his weight a bit and had a thoughtful expression on his face. He finally answered with. "Would your leader be alright with it?"
Twitching her tail happily, Duckeyes responded quickly to her son's inquiry, "Of course she would. I came to her in the same way, and well, like I said, if you wished to stay... the clan always has room."
Turning towards camp, the she-cat motioned with her tail for the apprentice to follow her, "And, by the way, I really think if you gave Minnowstep a chance you would grow quite fond of him. He, well, honestly, he reminds me of Blackbird..."
As she trailed off, Duckeyes shook her head and began the trek to take her son home with her.
Cinderpaw opened his mouth to speak as his mother invited him to join the clan, but stopped as she kept going. He realized he hadn't told her yet what he's been doing with his time. He had briefly mentioned he was on a mission for his clan, but he figured he'd wait and see his mother's home before telling her more.
Despite trying to remain calm, he couldn't help but say in a snappish mutter. "Then why didn't you stay with Blackbird?" It wasn't a question he intended to be answered and he said it under his breath in the hopes she wouldn't notice, and afterward, he hurried his pace to catch up with her.
Closing her eyes for a moment, Duckeyes continued to walk, head hung low and tail following in suit.
"Blackbird was.... is, a wonderful cat. But I've always wanted to travel. To be able to actually find my place. He, well, he was always more suited for a life of organization. Of certainties."
Shaking her head as if to clear the thoughts away, Duckeyes picked her tail up slightly, not wanting to let her kit know just how deeply the question had pierced her. Of course, Blackbird would always be her first... He was, of course, the cat whom she had thought would be her mate through it all. But none of that mattered now. Cinderpaw was here. She was taking him home with her.
Cinderpaw frowned, listening to her in silence as she talked, and glancing down at his paws, focusing on anything but her. He felt a stab of shame that he'd even made a complaint- he understood her, in a way. He hadn't wanted to stay with Blackbird either in the human place. Still, if she, Ducky, hadn't had left... well, perhaps things would have been different.
He gave a slight nod as he took in her words, but still averted his gaze. "... I'm sorry." He added after a pause, daring to cast a glance at her. "I guess I understand." He muttered.
He didn't sound or look totally convinced, and he knew it, so he again tried to avert his gaze. He needed to change the subject! He might not see her again for a while, or even for the rest of his life for all he knew! He couldn't waste these moments feeling bitter.
"... So, how'd you end up here?" He asked, clearing his throat.
Happy to have a change of subject, the she-cat slowed so that she and the apprentice were walking side by side.
"After I left your father and you I just... Walked. It almost felt like I was pulled here. Like this is where I was meant to be. Minnowstep actually found me about where you came from. He... Well, he explained that the clan could always use more warriors and this is somewhere I finally felt I could settle."
Kneading the ground nervously as she paused for a moment, Duckeyes turned to her son, "I didn't want to leave you. I hope you know that. I asked Blackbird to try and explain it but... I suppose there's no excuse. But you're here now! You've found me," nuzzling slightly into the smaller cat, she continued, "I am so proud."
Cinderpaw mustered a smile as his mother nuzzled him, and for a moment, he felt he could relax. It could be just like it was before. He let himself lean on her slightly, his nose touching the fur of her shoulder. As he closed his eyes her scent and fur so close reminded him of when he was a kitten. Yes, this seemed right...
Yet reality still came back to him, and he pulled away, the moment gone. He knew he wasn't going to leave his new clan to join hers- yet the way she was talking and acting almost seemed like she was sure he was. He didn't know how to address it. He needed to think!
Instead of talking about it now, he smiled at her and quickened his pace, taking a good look at the surroundings. The forest was very pretty, with the mountains in the distance. He understood why she liked it here. "Is your camp close?" He asked, looking back at her.
Unaware of the thoughts racing through the younger cat's mind, Duckeyes nodded excitedly, "Just beyond these bushes," as she spoke, the she-cat nudged her way into the camp. Taking in the view which she had left earlier, Duckeyes allowed for the water of the pond to fall in sync with her breathing before practically dashing to the center of camp, waving Cinderpaw to follow.
Seeing Minnowstep, she smiled, "I've brought him home. Now we can be a proper family."
Cinderpaw gave Minnowstep a sheepish smile as he followed. He definitely did not look as eager as she did, and cast a wary glance at whoever else may be around. Scents of unfamiliar cats made his fur rise slightly, and he was certain he felt eyes on him alright.
"... About that." He muttered cautiously. He had to tell her. She couldn't go on thinking he was staying. It'd be worse if he broke it to her later, right?
Stopping at the cautious tone in Cinderpaw's voice, Duckeyes turned to her son, her tail drooping, " Did I... Have I misspoke? Is it because of Minnowstep? He really is a good cat, not that Blackbird wasn't I just....." Trailing off with a sheepish look in her eyes, Duckeyes lifted her head to make eye contact with her dear kit, "You don't want to stay, do you?"
Cinderpaw let out a long breath and looked at his mother. He wasn't sure what to say. This whole ordeal was hard for him to talk through, and once more he found himself hoping Minnowstep would go away. Yet Minnowstep was there, and it would be rude to just tell him to go. It was obvious his mother considered him part of their family. Even if he isn't. Cinderpaw thought.
He didn't say this, however, simply. "... You moved on..."
Figuring this wasn't enough he hurried to say, his ear flicking "When you left, things weren't the same. I didn't feel I belonged their either, in the city. So I left with Fire... I have my own home now."
That was about it- he just hoped she'd take it well. Or at least, better than he was taking the news of how moved on both his parents were.
With a small nod, Duckeyes looked at her son, noting how much he had grown. How strong he had become. She gave him a small smile before turning to her mate, "Will you tell Minkstar I'll be out of camp for a moment. I need to see Cinderpaw back to his clan." Turning to her son, she flicked her tail and started out of the camp, "I'm sorry," she muttered.
Cinderpaw followed, a bit confused by how well she took it. It was obvious she did want him to stay- yet she was so willing to let him go back.
He needed to do the same for her.
"I should be sorry." He replied. "I... in some ways I wish I could stay. I've missed you so long. In fact, I've missed you and the way things were so much... I might have lost sight of what had or could've been gained."
He shrugged at this and still walked on. The forest was peaceful, and the nearby pond sounded pleasant.
"You are happy here... right?" He finally asked, stopping and look at her. It was weird, he recalled her being so much taller. Now they stood at the same height. If anything, in a few more moons he'd be taller than she was. Time had passed so quickly... he had imagined his meeting being so much different.
"You have no reason at all to apologize. No queen could ask for a better kit. You are loyal to your clan, and that is what can make or break a cat. I am so proud to call you my son...." Giving him a sad smile, she continued, "I knew that you wouldn't be able to stay, but, one can dream."
With a pause, she then raised her tail proudly, "And to be frank, I am happy here. I have a family in these cats, but I need for you to know that they will never replace you. " Giving her son a smile, she began walking again, her pace slow, but methodical, "And I'm going to assume you are also happy, seeing as to how eager you are to get back."
Cinderpaw smiled. It was perhaps the most genuine smile he had given all day, although sadness was still in his eyes. Things would never be as they were, but perhaps the new wasn't so bad. He had to give it a chance, and he felt he'd understand better with time. Maybe even make amends with Blackbird, too.
"Yes, I like it in my clan." He said brightly, his eyes turning on ahead. He could see those mountains he had wanted to travel since he was a kit, as they were the ones he had seen his mother vanish towards. Now he felt a surge of excitement; at home, cats were waiting to greet him. Waiting to give him a warrior name.
"... You know, I lied a bit earlier." He added sheepishly. "When I said I wasn't looking to find you... I was, in a way, even if I wouldn't admit it. And I'm glad I did. I can't deny it hurt me when you left, and how you both moved on. But I... think everything will be fine. I'm happy for you. And I do really love my new home. Maybe things did turn out for the best after all?"
Giving her son a nuzzle, she smirked before speaking, 'You ought to be going, your clan is going to end up thinking that you were eaten by a giant squirrel. And... I am sorry. I always have loved you, and to be fair, I'm overjoyed you came to see me," pausing to nuzzle her kit and nudge him gently the way he had come, Duckeyes attempted to hide the sorrow on her face. "I just... If you ever get another chance, please don't feel strange about dropping by. Our borders are pretty flexible. And Minkstar will understand. That's enough of me rambling though. You have a home to go to."
And before the tom could say anything else to her, she was gone, streaking into the forest, back to her home. Her chosen family.